This is a part of a 30 day series.
To Whomsoever It May concern,
I saw the ad for a vacant position in your company after my mother pointed it out to me. And thought, have I gone through 18 years of education for this? But then, an unemployed man has no right to think about ideal situations. So, finally I decided to put forth my request for a job in a letter.
You see, I have read many articles, on how to write a cover letter, and every one of them suggested not to write something very out of the ordinary, but then you see, ordinary cover letters are for ordinary men. If I was in human resource department, I wouldn’t be looking for ordinary letters. They are all excellently mastered so as to hide the human being behind the words. A criminal act, which I don’t want to be guilty of.
Anyways, in the CV, to which this letter is attached you will see a few sections left blank. Let me clarify since writing the truth there would seem extremely arrogant. (It still will, but here it will come with a short justification.) When asked to list my talents, I can only say that I have an excellent talent to refrain from boasting. As for weaknesses, it is my inability to see anything of that sort in myself.
The huge reputation that your organisation has, I am sure you must be getting a lot of applicants with some heavy duty marks as well as certificates in all co curricular activities as proof of their holistic personality.
I have not really won any awards and all, because the teachers would only give prize to the ones who behaved themselves in class, and not to the most talented fellow around. But then, you see, as much as it sounds difficult, it’s not tough to fool around a little bit with you in this regard. I could have made fake certificates on photoshop where I have won the best singer award in 10th standard. (How else can someone have a suitcase full of certificates?) But no, I believe in karma. I am very scared of telling such lies. And, god is happy with me now for resisting the temptation.
Do you realize the bad karma a man gets after rejecting a truthful person? No. Well, reject me and wait and watch. These are not little threats from a crazy human being, but merely a reminder of the nature’s most basic principles.
Hopefully, you will give me a job. Otherwise, God is Great.
Currently Unemployed Human Being With A Lot Of Negative Energy