This letter is a part of this series.

Dear Girl,

A few hours back, I found out that you have been committed to a human being other than myself. I am very happy. (No, not for you.) You see, now that you have shown your class by getting it on with that complete moron, I can sleep in peace knowing that there was no use trying for you in the first place. You’ve just got, what they say, Bad Taste.

Ha! What a fool I was to be so deeply obsessive about you. You might not have seen it since I am a very experienced man, who tries very hard to behave in a socially acceptable way. But, my heart – my heart, was still that teenager who got excited by very little things. No more of that fuckery will exist anymore. My mind is free. I have no clue about what my dreams will contain tonight. (Hopefully, it will not be news of your break-up. Haha.)

Anyways, you have missed it. If you try and talk now, I’ll be polite and all, but not feel guilty later at having missed an opportunity for a great joke to be cracked. If you give me the cold shoulder sometime now, I won’t feel angry or sad or anything. But, chances are I’ll be the one who will give it before you get a chance.

Goodbye, and thanks for the daydreams.

Yours truly,