12. A diary entry on the day I quit smoking

Diary,

For the past one day, I haven’t had a single cigarette. When I started smoking, I didn’t know it’d be this tough to quit. I thought, let’s smoke now- will quit later just like so many people do it. I didn’t know that reading a block of text online would be so tough. I didn’t know my mouth will feel weird. On the positive side though, I didn’t know food would be so tasty. But then, the craving symptoms after the food rob your mind from the ability to think straight.

It’s not like I haven’t tried to quit before. But, every time my mind and body needed nicotine I convinced myself, of how beautiful this thing was and laughed about giving up my battle and the next thing I know I was at the cigarette vendor’s place.

Then, at one stage I stopped trying to quit. “Nahi hoga yaar, faaltu ka kaaiko try karna..” Let’s smoke. Smoking is good. What’s the issue with continuing to smoke. Freedom, it is mine.

But, over the past few days somehow I am not liking this shit anymore. Some great painter once said that he doesn’t have an addiction, whose effects are temporary. It is causing way more problems than it is solving. Spend that money on something good like getting a headphone. Or play Pool for a longer while. Not like smoking makes you feel like you’ve attained Nirvana or something.

Anyways, it’s tough to quit here. Not, because of the environment or the smoking culture. But, because of the fact that over here, one gets a lot of tension. But, I wish myself luck and here’s to a good healthy and wealthy future.

Sameer Jha

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This post is a part of this series.

 

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