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Ever since, we discovered the concept of how human beings pop up into this world, we have held a desire to be married. (Most of us, atleast.) When times are bad, and you don’t know what to do, close your eyes and think about your first wedding night. (The novelty factor of this night is a little low, if it is a love marriage, but it’s still a more than uplifting place to be in.)
As a generation which grew up during the early years of globalisation, we no longer see love marriage as an act of extreme unimaginable rebellion, but more as an exercise of one’s democratic rights. Movies have glorified this, countered it, and in some cases shown us a way to do it gracefully. (see DDLJ.) After all, it’s all about loving your family.
Our parents advise with living examples of love marriages gone bad, and arranged marriages staying strong for a long time. We rebel, saying that arranged marriages are held by the same mental dogma which makes people indulge in such dickery in the first place. And, all those failed marriages are actually not love marriages, ours will be a true love marriage.
Still, there are fresher perspectives to this. One reason, there are people who still look forward to their parents finding a girl/boy for them, is because they can’t find one on their own. Such is the turmoil of loneliness within, that they give their heart to their future wifes/husbands merely by imagining the time they will be spending in the future.
Another one, is that of people forgetting their love affairs, due to emotional blackmail from parents. One can feel guilty about disrespecting their years of love and kindness for a man that you’ve known for a far lesser period of time. “I will not impose such a restriction on my children,” they would think as they marry a person whom they will stay with only to pay off a debt.
There’s also a more practical line of thought practised, sometimes if the marriage is arranged with a rich husband, (NRI maybe) then the love of their life may fade in their eyes. After all, a little jewellery along with some love is not an option to be frowned upon.
I, personally, have no thoughts on this. After all, there is still time. But, in case I want to have a love marriage, then I wouldn’t refrain. I’ll also tell my mother, “Look, a mother’s love is so pure it can forgive murder. I am only marrying a girl. I know you will not be able to feel bad about it for long. I am your son, your blood, and my value for you is more than the entire society that exists outside of this bond. Let alone it’s rules.”
That said, it will be appropriate to point out an argument far above this debate. In this video, Osho argues how marriage in itself is a stupid thing. And, that no man can forgive their parents, for imparting their own weaknesses into them and thus leading to a chain of neurosis.