One of the main reasons behind my recurring dissatisfaction with life, is my ability to sooner or later reflect on many of my shortcomings in an event as a joke. This obviously doesn’t happen always, otherwise I wouldn’t have learned from my mistakes.
To reference an example from my life, I have been for a few days struggling to find a way back into active blogging. Yet, all ideas do not seem to expand beyond a couple of paragraphs, and I settle into doing something else. Typically, I’ll attribute it to my lost groove. And blame it on the inevitable cycle of life. ‘Once again, owing to my character I managed to screw this up’ is my obvious chain of thought. What this ensures is, that I make the same mistakes, and fall back in the same pit doing the same shit.
What is more frustrating, is that this is not an error of understanding the ways of the world, but an error of instinct. Only last week, I was trying to write up some thoughts on power instinct. This week, I have ended up writing one on the failure instinct. Problem is, in thought I find this one better and more graceful.
(I don’t know if I’ve communicated well in this post, and I can’t tell you to refrain from making the ‘work towards it instead of speaking about it’ in your mind.)