I woke up at 6 am today- not to catch a train or a bus- but instead to have more hours in the day to do things. Personally, it is a huge change in my psychological stance. I was the sort of human being who felt happy at sleeping for 12 hours as that would leave me with less time to kill. The world was not a great place to survive in after all. Not more than 10 days back, I slept at 11.30 am and woke up at 9 pm. Breakfast became dinner, dinner became breakfast. There were a range of reasons that I gave myself to justify this habit of abandoning life in the sun- one can feel about things more deeply, connecting thoughts and fantasizing on possibilities can be more ambitious and prolonged, there is no source for validation and no need for it either.

I still stand by those reasons, as they were not based on anything other than experience, but somehow now- these reasons are not strong enough for me. Such a life, has allowed me to grow in some things much before my peers, and in certain things I have been rendered awkward and timid. I realized it’s gravity on happiness only recently and no more am I going to put up with that.


PS: It’s a slow process this, and there’d be more posts on this theme before I finally grow out of it.