Do you believe in it? No? I don’t either.

But, the night is long, and I will have to tell you a story.

Just think, like ghosts and spirits, what if everything everyone told you through books, television, etc. was false.

Who knows the real Bhagat Singh? It’s just stories, right. Something, someone can make up.

And even if he did cause a revolution, why should I read up about him? He isn’t giving me any money, right.

Why should I watch Shah Rukh Khan and Ranveer Singh serenade the most beautiful women on screen? I tell you what, I have always wanted to be in their place. Ever since I was a child, I’d look at these heroines and wish I could be the one grabbing them by their hip and eating up their neck.

Compared to them, so many of the girls fell short, and I became such a nice and shy boy who didn’t talk to girls. And even when I did, I would always feel sorry for the fact that they weren’t as pretty as those women on screen.

But hey, like Motorhead, I ain’t no nice guy after all.

With years of visualizing actors do the naughtiest things, I think I can become really good at this lovemaking game once I get my groove on.

Don’t you agree, baby?